








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 358 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4284 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4207 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2892 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1991 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,023,663 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Each | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | Zubash | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | cACAYA | 57% | 107 |
| #4 | Hansen | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | Doomhax | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Simplez! | 52% | 65 |
| #11 | Relko | 52% | 159 |
| #12 | Dyno Paps | 51% | 61 |
| #13 | RaZz | 48% | 31 |
| #14 | TT | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cACAYA | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Zubash | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | weetdolphin | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | Relko | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Lange Luke Logan | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetdolphin | 1062 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #2 | cACAYA | 630 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #3 | Relko | 347 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | kung fu kenny | 344 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | Hansen | 246 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaZz | +2.58 | 66 | 68 |
| #2 | weetdolphin | +2.45 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | JAKSULLY | +1.78 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | kung fu kenny | +1.15 | 76 | 66 |
| #5 | TT | +1.08 | 52 | 72 |





