








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 707 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5856 | 22% |
| Smokes | 9273 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 7098 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4914 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,260,447 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Each | 55% | 95 |
| #2 | cACAYA | 54% | 207 |
| #3 | JAKSULLY | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | weetdolphin | 52% | 400 |
| #5 | Doomhax | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Dyno Paps | 48% | 193 |
| #12 | Simplez! | 47% | 55 |
| #13 | Hansen | 46% | 169 |
| #14 | TT | 42% | 66 |
| #15 | Arne R Cool | 37% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cACAYA | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | kung fu kenny | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | weetdolphin | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Lange Luke Logan | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | Umulig | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetdolphin | 1738 | 0.20 | 47 min |
| #2 | cACAYA | 1114 | 0.25 | 34 min |
| #3 | Hansen | 740 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #4 | kung fu kenny | 632 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #5 | JAKSULLY | 545 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaZz | +3.57 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | weetdolphin | +2.89 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | JAKSULLY | +1.96 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | kung fu kenny | +1.85 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | Hansen | +0.83 | 71 | 80 |





