








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1203 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10492 | 21% |
| Smokes | 12727 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 13604 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 13261 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,142,249 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAKSULLY | 54% | 253 |
| #2 | cACAYA | 52% | 407 |
| #3 | weetdolphin | 52% | 688 |
| #4 | RaZz | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | Relko | 49% | 475 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Each | 48% | 143 |
| #12 | Zubash | 46% | 70 |
| #13 | Simplez! | 43% | 76 |
| #14 | Arne R Cool | 43% | 221 |
| #15 | Doomhax | 40% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetdolphin | 5 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | Umulig | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | cACAYA | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Lange Luke Logan | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | RaZz | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetdolphin | 2837 | 0.19 | 72 min |
| #2 | cACAYA | 2285 | 0.26 | 69 min |
| #3 | Hansen | 1608 | 0.20 | 51 min |
| #4 | Relko | 960 | 0.09 | 22 min |
| #5 | Dyno Paps | 902 | 0.09 | 25 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetdolphin | +2.82 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | RaZz | +2.72 | 63 | 67 |
| #3 | kung fu kenny | +1.89 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | JAKSULLY | +1.44 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | Hansen | +0.80 | 67 | 79 |





