








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4269 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3706 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3892 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3286 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,316,358 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xavier | 59% | 243 |
| #2 | Dr Maddog | 56% | 71 |
| #3 | SpraayZ | 53% | 474 |
| #4 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 53% | 180 |
| #5 | 铲屎官 | 53% | 405 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SpraayZ | 53% | 474 |
| #4 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 53% | 180 |
| #5 | 铲屎官 | 53% | 405 |
| #6 | TacoBurrito | 50% | 225 |
| #7 | Mayor | 46% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 铲屎官 | 46 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | SpraayZ | 26 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Xavier | 17 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | TacoBurrito | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 10 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 铲屎官 | 1313 | 0.16 | 38 min |
| #2 | SpraayZ | 963 | 0.10 | 26 min |
| #3 | Xavier | 682 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #4 | TacoBurrito | 532 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 400 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpraayZ | +2.97 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Xavier | +1.10 | 78 | 76 |
| #3 | 铲屎官 | +0.38 | 60 | 71 |
| #4 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | +0.35 | 86 | 62 |
| #5 | RickyBobby | -0.17 | 75 | 60 |





