








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 448 | 20% |
| Smokes | 625 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 452 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 683 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,020 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xavier | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | Hydra | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Dr Maddog | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | SpraayZ | 48% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | SpraayZ | 48% | 98 |
| #6 | 铲屎官 | 46% | 80 |
| #7 | RickyBobby | 46% | 92 |
| #8 | TacoBurrito | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpraayZ | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | RickyBobby | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | 铲屎官 | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Xavier | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RickyBobby | 263 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | 铲屎官 | 241 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | SpraayZ | 188 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | TacoBurrito | 99 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Xavier | 86 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydra | +4.20 | 70 | 62 |
| #2 | SpraayZ | +2.80 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | Dr Maddog | +0.54 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | 铲屎官 | +0.52 | 62 | 74 |
| #5 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | +0.44 | 78 | 63 |





