








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 879 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3694 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4344 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3083 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2983 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,584,398 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydra | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Xavier | 57% | 247 |
| #3 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 54% | 195 |
| #4 | Dr Maddog | 54% | 71 |
| #5 | RickyBobby | 53% | 474 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dr Maddog | 54% | 71 |
| #5 | RickyBobby | 53% | 474 |
| #6 | 铲屎官 | 52% | 412 |
| #7 | TacoBurrito | 51% | 235 |
| #8 | Mayor | 48% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 铲屎官 | 46 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | RickyBobby | 42 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Xavier | 18 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | TacoBurrito | 10 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 铲屎官 | 1360 | 0.16 | 39 min |
| #2 | RickyBobby | 1346 | 0.14 | 36 min |
| #3 | Xavier | 693 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #4 | TacoBurrito | 565 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | 419 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydra | +3.79 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | SpraayZ | +3.11 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | Xavier | +1.06 | 78 | 75 |
| #4 | ็็็็็็็็็็ | +0.49 | 85 | 60 |
| #5 | 铲屎官 | +0.36 | 61 | 71 |





