










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 151 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1130 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2323 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 821 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1266 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,699,653 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 805 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigOlCone | 42% | 26 |
| #2 | VuBerry | 41% | 27 |
| #3 | UnHoly42 | 41% | 118 |
| #4 | Pikachew | 39% | 105 |
| #5 | T0K3NC0B | 38% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikachew | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | bigjuice | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | VuBerry | 5 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | UnHoly42 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | T0K3NC0B | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikachew | 304 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | UnHoly42 | 195 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | T0K3NC0B | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | VuBerry | 134 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | bigjuice | 92 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VuBerry | +2.77 | 57 | 68 |
| #2 | UnHoly42 | +2.72 | 73 | 54 |
| #3 | bigjuice | +1.47 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | Phat Cat | -0.26 | 29 | 37 |
| #5 | Pikachew | -0.66 | 34 | 63 |





