








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2105 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2293 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2469 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,996 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spittingcobra | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | UnHoly42 | 47% | 99 |
| #3 | BigOlCone | 47% | 53 |
| #4 | 909Holland | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | bigjuice | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikachew | 11 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | UnHoly42 | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Phat Cat | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | BigOlCone | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | spittingcobra | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikachew | 164 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | UnHoly42 | 148 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Phat Cat | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | 909Holland | 70 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | bigjuice | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnHoly42 | +3.89 | 74 | 54 |
| #2 | bigjuice | +1.77 | 68 | 48 |
| #3 | Phat Cat | +0.77 | 26 | 39 |
| #4 | 909Holland | +0.52 | 16 | 47 |
| #5 | Pikachew | -0.21 | 28 | 60 |





