








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 255 | 8% |
| Smokes | 762 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1116 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1095 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,317 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VuBerry | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | T0K3NC0B | 47% | 53 |
| #3 | Phat Cat | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | UnHoly42 | 42% | 204 |
| #5 | bigjuice | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Phat Cat | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | UnHoly42 | 42% | 204 |
| #5 | bigjuice | 37% | 41 |
| #6 | Pikachew | 36% | 88 |
| #7 | spittingcobra | 31% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikachew | 16 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | UnHoly42 | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | VuBerry | 4 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Phat Cat | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | T0K3NC0B | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnHoly42 | 332 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | Pikachew | 251 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | T0K3NC0B | 104 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | VuBerry | 88 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | bigjuice | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnHoly42 | +3.44 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | VuBerry | +3.39 | 47 | 70 |
| #3 | bigjuice | +2.04 | 78 | 54 |
| #4 | Pikachew | -0.33 | 26 | 64 |
| #5 | Phat Cat | -0.34 | 26 | 30 |





