








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 275 matches | ||
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1586 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2777 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1512 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1581 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,187,998 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡ | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | rod | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | Dillsif | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | i love my new pet Scimmione | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | coolguy | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Gryph0n | 49% | 199 |
| #7 | Mail order bride from Sri Lanka | 49% | 39 |
| #8 | Italian Turtle | 48% | 212 |
| #9 | CoolAdam | 44% | 27 |
| #10 | geedis | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gryph0n | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ⚡ | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Italian Turtle | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | i love my new pet Scimmione | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | CoolAdam | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gryph0n | 922 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #2 | Italian Turtle | 669 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | i love my new pet Scimmione | 207 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | geedis | 156 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | ⚡ | 135 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rod | +2.24 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | ⚡ | +2.19 | 90 | 55 |
| #3 | geedis | +1.60 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | Gryph0n | +0.39 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | pem | -0.22 | 63 | 45 |





