








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 825 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3998 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4684 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4467 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3357 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,094,983 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 803 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | nicomo | 48% | 156 |
| #12 | OurAnarchy | 47% | 116 |
| #13 | E | 45% | 100 |
| #14 | steage | 44% | 193 |
| #15 | Papa Chef Boyardee | 30% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡ | 649 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Gryph0n | 609 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | steage | 394 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Italian Turtle | 191 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | E | 164 | 0.08 | 3 min |





