








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 965 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,071 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6654 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4801 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3770 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4846 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,844,682 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 441 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU Jesus Chan | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | i love my new pet Scimmione | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | CoolAdam | 59% | 93 |
| #4 | Void Swan | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | wist | 57% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Ninshu | 45% | 84 |
| #13 | Le Crashtan | 44% | 43 |
| #14 | pem | 43% | 44 |
| #15 | henry | 41% | 61 |
| #16 | LintyBlanket | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LintyBlanket | 12 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Guts | 12 | 0.0175 |
| #3 | Le Crashtan | 9 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | UwU Jesus Chan | 7 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Ninshu | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gryph0n | 532 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | CoolAdam | 288 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | LintyBlanket | 225 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | Italian Turtle | 198 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | wist | 168 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geedis | +3.05 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | Void Swan | +2.93 | 88 | 56 |
| #3 | rod | +2.12 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | LintyBlanket | +1.29 | 56 | 74 |
| #5 | i love my new pet Scimmione | +1.15 | 77 | 67 |





