








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 888 matches | ||
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17332 | 35% |
| Smokes | 11050 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 9833 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 11457 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,351,905 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rod | 60% | 130 |
| #2 | ⚡ | 59% | 107 |
| #3 | crazy | 55% | 98 |
| #4 | geedis | 52% | 109 |
| #5 | i love my new pet Scimmione | 52% | 340 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Rave | 49% | 179 |
| #10 | 77th | Ed | 48% | 347 |
| #11 | Matt | 46% | 197 |
| #12 | [No. 16] Highlander | 46% | 90 |
| #13 | Section | 43% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Italian Turtle | 13 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | ⚡ | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | rod | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | i love my new pet Scimmione | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | pem | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i love my new pet Scimmione | 1598 | 0.21 | 41 min |
| #2 | Italian Turtle | 1576 | 0.14 | 37 min |
| #3 | 77th | Ed | 1381 | 0.18 | 31 min |
| #4 | Matt | 964 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #5 | Section | 586 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Section | +2.48 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | rod | +2.42 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | ⚡ | +1.49 | 88 | 53 |
| #4 | geedis | +1.23 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | Matt | +0.66 | 71 | 58 |





