








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,002 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2893 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1614 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2657 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1838 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,757 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SrSquirrel | 81% | 27 |
| #2 | wide body | 71% | 42 |
| #3 | rod | 62% | 197 |
| #4 | nicomo | 61% | 31 |
| #5 | pem | 61% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nicomo | 61% | 31 |
| #5 | pem | 61% | 46 |
| #6 | Gryph0n | 59% | 107 |
| #7 | steage | 58% | 33 |
| #8 | Italian Turtle | 56% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rod | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Gryph0n | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | steage | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Italian Turtle | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | wide body | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gryph0n | 496 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | rod | 342 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Italian Turtle | 225 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | SrSquirrel | 89 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | steage | 60 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rod | +3.35 | 80 | 65 |
| #2 | SrSquirrel | +3.01 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | ⚡ | +2.97 | 86 | 50 |
| #4 | Gryph0n | +0.13 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | Italian Turtle | -0.95 | 65 | 66 |





