








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1537 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2308 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1817 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2604 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,387,627 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lalsu | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | SuveJones | 67% | 45 |
| #3 | Yks palli | 66% | 35 |
| #4 | korjen orqu (2) | 65% | 31 |
| #5 | NinjaMystiqueツ | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Hatsib♡b | 48% | 29 |
| #13 | Hapsu | 48% | 126 |
| #14 | urbanurger | 47% | 131 |
| #15 | Waliho | 46% | 115 |
| #16 | Kaakelberg | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Hapsu | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Waliho | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | JM | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Yks palli | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urbanurger | 525 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Waliho | 505 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #3 | Hapsu | 478 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | ping meister 420 ez | 282 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #5 | Creaticide | 173 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yks palli | +3.39 | 83 | 56 |
| #2 | Kaakelberg | +2.63 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | Blunt | +1.98 | 81 | 52 |
| #4 | JM | +1.98 | 85 | 61 |
| #5 | Arttu01 | +1.32 | 46 | 52 |





