








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 187 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4346 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5179 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5741 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4700 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,329,739 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zatknis pidaras | 75% | 32 |
| #2 | TikTak | 56% | 124 |
| #3 | аугстаак | 55% | 265 |
| #4 | Ali | 51% | 315 |
| #5 | Karsty | 50% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TikTak | 28 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | sewey | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | TURK Pipars | 12 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Ali | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Karsty | 9 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | 1098 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | аугстаак | 986 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #3 | sewey | 437 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #4 | Karsty | 397 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | TikTak | 396 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | +3.62 | 66 | 74 |
| #2 | TURK Pipars | +2.87 | 61 | 75 |
| #3 | ///客人是同性恋/// | +2.76 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | TikTak | +2.17 | 78 | 62 |
| #5 | аугстаак | +2.05 | 73 | 62 |





