








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5182 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4864 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3796 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3645 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $450,557 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1046 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | аугстаак | 41% | 124 |
| #10 | Ali | 41% | 122 |
| #11 | sewey | 36% | 211 |
| #12 | zatknis pidaras | 35% | 20 |
| #13 | Emiljons | 32% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 16 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | аугстаак | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Emiljons | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | sewey | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Ali | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | аугстаак | 463 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Ali | 391 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 350 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Karsty | 278 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | sewey | 244 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | +3.89 | 64 | 75 |
| #2 | TikTak | +3.54 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | TURK Pipars | +3.28 | 61 | 72 |
| #4 | ///客人是同性恋/// | +3.24 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | аугстаак | +2.25 | 74 | 62 |





