








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1584 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2206 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2582 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1877 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $677,582 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | fade1racecarpeek | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Zephyr | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | abj | 59% | 63 |
| #5 | Raunny | 53% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | collob | 50% | 76 |
| #10 | Andylovesmangos | 45% | 94 |
| #11 | Dpunch26 | 42% | 43 |
| #12 | J U N G K O O K | 42% | 53 |
| #13 | Jøsh | 35% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andylovesmangos | 52 | 0.0263 |
| #2 | collob | 33 | 0.0210 |
| #3 | Brandon | 20 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | Raunny | 11 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | abj | 8 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | collob | 518 | 0.33 | 14 min |
| #2 | Andylovesmangos | 487 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | Raunny | 307 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jøsh | 258 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Brandon | 215 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | +6.01 | 95 | 66 |
| #2 | Raunny | +2.13 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | kenny | +1.42 | 77 | 56 |
| #4 | Vik | +0.85 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | Brandon | +0.67 | 71 | 54 |





