








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




216 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4822 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4567 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2354 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2983 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,975 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 668 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | Brogle | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | abj | 54% | 89 |
| #4 | Raunny | 53% | 133 |
| #5 | Brandon | 51% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | collob | 48% | 191 |
| #8 | Vik | 45% | 94 |
| #9 | The Italian Wonder | 42% | 45 |
| #10 | J U N G K O O K | 41% | 75 |
| #11 | Dpunch26 | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | collob | 66 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | Brandon | 48 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | Raunny | 20 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | abj | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Vik | 9 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | collob | 1323 | 0.33 | 36 min |
| #2 | Raunny | 733 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #3 | Brandon | 550 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #4 | Jøsh | 321 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | J U N G K O O K | 229 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | +4.90 | 93 | 67 |
| #2 | Raunny | +1.50 | 70 | 70 |
| #3 | Jøsh | +1.10 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | Brandon | +0.94 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | collob | +0.63 | 75 | 66 |





