








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6399 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7197 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3388 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4765 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,569,156 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 60% | 77 |
| #2 | roland poland | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | HardHatGaming | 55% | 56 |
| #4 | Malachi | 55% | 141 |
| #5 | Xertion Peek | 50% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | lil denner | 47% | 59 |
| #9 | Dozy | 46% | 52 |
| #10 | Обунга | 46% | 87 |
| #11 | ZachtheZebra | 44% | 86 |
| #12 | yohan | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xertion Peek | 906 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | Malachi | 436 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Обунга | 322 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 204 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | ZachtheZebra | 155 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JIMBO JIMBEEZY | +3.84 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | roland poland | +3.02 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | ♿ GAMING™ © | +0.29 | 38 | 59 |
| #4 | ZachtheZebra | -0.19 | 79 | 50 |
| #5 | Обунга | -0.37 | 64 | 63 |





