








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4049 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4114 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3593 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4346 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,234,132 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charles Lecroc | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | John, Goon | 60% | 260 |
| #3 | w1tchfind3r | 59% | 268 |
| #4 | Zeej | 57% | 268 |
| #5 | on jah its getting freaky | 55% | 274 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | w1tchfind3r | 59% | 268 |
| #4 | Zeej | 57% | 268 |
| #5 | on jah its getting freaky | 55% | 274 |
| #6 | b0nes | 51% | 179 |
| #7 | M- | 47% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeej | 34 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | on jah its getting freaky | 34 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | John, Goon | 32 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | b0nes | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | w1tchfind3r | 14 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John, Goon | 1010 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | on jah its getting freaky | 750 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | Zeej | 736 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #4 | b0nes | 545 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #5 | w1tchfind3r | 518 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4 | +2.47 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | Zeej | +2.41 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | Charles Lecroc | +1.00 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | M- | +0.96 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | John, Goon | -0.25 | 73 | 61 |





