








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4194 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4852 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4883 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4595 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,716,696 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John, Goon | 61% | 183 |
| #2 | 4 | 59% | 268 |
| #3 | Zeej | 55% | 224 |
| #4 | on jah its getting freaky | 53% | 279 |
| #5 | M- | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 4 | 59% | 268 |
| #3 | Zeej | 55% | 224 |
| #4 | on jah its getting freaky | 53% | 279 |
| #5 | M- | 53% | 38 |
| #6 | b0nes | 50% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | on jah its getting freaky | 41 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Zeej | 35 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | John, Goon | 26 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | 4 | 19 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | b0nes | 16 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4 | 819 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | on jah its getting freaky | 807 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | John, Goon | 765 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #4 | Zeej | 618 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #5 | b0nes | 384 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeej | +2.90 | 80 | 54 |
| #2 | 4 | +2.65 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | M- | +2.01 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | John, Goon | +0.20 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | b0nes | -0.22 | 81 | 64 |





