








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2879 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2623 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2847 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2468 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,998 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ipsu | 68% | 22 |
| #12 | Nillkki | 67% | 24 |
| #13 | t0d | 61% | 18 |
| #14 | TUHOUUNO | 61% | 18 |
| #15 | Holger Hartsock | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarii | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | muussi | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | karriSツ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Tommux | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | ipsu | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muussi | 927 | 0.24 | 32 min |
| #2 | Jarii | 226 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | Esdeath | 142 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | MidgetSpinner | 109 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tommux | 88 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esdeath | +3.41 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | ✪Kalu | +2.42 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | Jarii | +2.16 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | ipsu | +1.78 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | Holger Hartsock | +1.64 | 80 | 59 |





