








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1086 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1026 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 991 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 825 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,670 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeTu | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Mauke | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Lebiiis | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | ✪Kalu | 70% | 37 |
| #5 | TUHOUUNO | 67% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | noa | 58% | 24 |
| #11 | Holger Hartsock | 57% | 7 |
| #12 | saNppa™ | 54% | 24 |
| #13 | karriSツ | 53% | 19 |
| #14 | Spammy | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Kalu | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Jarii | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | noa | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | karriSツ | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | muussi | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarii | +2.86 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | ✪Kalu | +2.84 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | Mauke | +2.81 | 76 | 74 |
| #4 | Holger Hartsock | +1.86 | 86 | 36 |
| #5 | TUHOUUNO | +1.70 | 66 | 60 |





