








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3216 | 47% |
| Smokes | 1859 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 491 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1267 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,773 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEBAB ENJOYER | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Daniel Chadcliffe | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Mateusz | 61% | 46 |
| #4 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 57% | 61 |
| #5 | Blaze | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Blaze | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Oda Nobunaga | 46% | 46 |
| #8 | Mai | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | ParagonCrit | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Oda Nobunaga | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Daniel Chadcliffe | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Mateusz | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Blaze | 2 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mateusz | 365 | 0.39 | 11 min |
| #2 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 180 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Oda Nobunaga | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | KEBAB ENJOYER | 61 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #5 | Daniel Chadcliffe | 51 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEBAB ENJOYER | +3.10 | 72 | 83 |
| #2 | Mateusz | +2.77 | 61 | 86 |
| #3 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | +2.63 | 76 | 43 |
| #4 | ORBON | +1.47 | 53 | 86 |
| #5 | Blaze | +1.34 | 76 | 37 |





