










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 610 | 28% |
| Smokes | 605 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 595 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 334 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $139,703 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blaze | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Mateusz | 63% | 49 |
| #3 | Crippin | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | Mai | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | Jorbon | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ORBON | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | Oda Nobunaga | 48% | 42 |
| #9 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 46% | 69 |
| #10 | KEBAB ENJOYER | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | Jason Waterfalls | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorbon | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Mateusz | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Blaze | 4 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Oda Nobunaga | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mateusz | 393 | 0.39 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jorbon | 235 | 0.34 | 7 min |
| #3 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 231 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Crippin | 203 | 0.40 | 6 min |
| #5 | KEBAB ENJOYER | 95 | 0.37 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | +3.06 | 74 | 50 |
| #2 | KEBAB ENJOYER | +2.91 | 64 | 83 |
| #3 | Mateusz | +2.36 | 61 | 86 |
| #4 | Crippin | +1.60 | 58 | 90 |
| #5 | ORBON | +1.47 | 44 | 86 |





