








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6824 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4545 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3513 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3771 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $341,379 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | 63% | 49 |
| #2 | Perc 30 | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | ORBON | 61% | 46 |
| #4 | Mai | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | orge | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Blaze | 52% | 25 |
| #8 | Crippin | 52% | 60 |
| #9 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 51% | 119 |
| #10 | Oda Nobunaga | 49% | 114 |
| #11 | Daniel Chadcliffe | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oda Nobunaga | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Jorbon | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Mai | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crippin | 503 | 0.39 | 15 min |
| #2 | Jorbon | 438 | 0.32 | 12 min |
| #3 | ORBON | 360 | 0.38 | 11 min |
| #4 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 312 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Oda Nobunaga | 246 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | +2.39 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | Mateusz | +1.95 | 63 | 84 |
| #3 | ORBON | +1.74 | 45 | 87 |
| #4 | Crippin | +1.08 | 53 | 89 |
| #5 | Blaze | +0.79 | 75 | 52 |





