








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 504 | 22% |
| Smokes | 814 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 422 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 574 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,937 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crippin | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | ORBON | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | Mateusz | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mateusz | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | KEBAB ENJOYER | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | Small Chinese Baby | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | Jorbon | 37% | 19 |
| #9 | Blaze | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Blaze | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Small Chinese Baby | 2 | 0.0198 |
| #5 | Mateusz | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorbon | 167 | 0.43 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mateusz | 158 | 0.45 | 4 min |
| #3 | ORBON | 155 | 0.37 | 4 min |
| #4 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 102 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | KEBAB ENJOYER | 94 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mateusz | +2.40 | 70 | 82 |
| #2 | ORBON | +2.06 | 51 | 86 |
| #3 | Jorbon | +1.73 | 61 | 84 |
| #4 | Small Chinese Baby | +1.58 | 67 | 56 |
| #5 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | +1.40 | 76 | 48 |





