








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 966 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 453 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7539 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7437 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5516 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 10675 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,634,202 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 677 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | type shit | 67% | 75 |
| #2 | Reciente | 62% | 112 |
| #3 | Bizzy Wizzy | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | dray-k | 54% | 202 |
| #5 | draykwittheshits | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Perc-Wizard | 47% | 53 |
| #11 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 46% | 72 |
| #12 | carpetdemon | 43% | 77 |
| #13 | Aaron Hernandez | 42% | 55 |
| #14 | liberal | 40% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 40 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | Reciente | 25 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | dray-k | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 17 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | pissedvegetable | 13 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 652 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #2 | dray-k | 547 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Reciente | 307 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | pissedvegetable | 229 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | GarthBricks | 201 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | type shit | +5.09 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | Reciente | +3.66 | 88 | 58 |
| #3 | egoist | +3.29 | 77 | 74 |
| #4 | dray-k | +0.77 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | pissedvegetable | +0.76 | 55 | 60 |





