








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 821 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3979 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3019 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1148 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2537 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,051,719 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 32 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | CptCream420 | 20 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | GarthBricks | 9 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 7 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | dray-k | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 451 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | dray-k | 359 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | CptCream420 | 291 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | pgxy | 163 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | GarthBricks | 162 | 0.17 | 4 min |





