








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 756 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




146 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11291 | 41% |
| Smokes | 8055 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6285 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2019 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $911,037 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 573 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perc-Wizard | 76% | 34 |
| #2 | pgxy | 67% | 58 |
| #3 | Reciente | 65% | 84 |
| #4 | GarthBricks | 65% | 49 |
| #5 | Aqu | 65% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | dray-k | 59% | 241 |
| #9 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 55% | 51 |
| #10 | CptCream420 | 53% | 119 |
| #11 | liberal | 48% | 54 |
| #12 | Bizzy Wizzy | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reciente | 19 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | dray-k | 17 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | CptCream420 | 17 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | type shit | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 13 | 0.0131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dray-k | 633 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | type shit | 628 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | Aqu | 326 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #4 | CptCream420 | 324 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | pissedvegetable | 280 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | +3.11 | 74 | 74 |
| #2 | Aqu | +2.46 | 63 | 70 |
| #3 | type shit | +1.63 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | Reciente | +1.12 | 85 | 54 |
| #5 | I Smoke Broken Windows | +0.02 | 38 | 54 |





