








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Esplay | 15 matches | 1,504 | |
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 537 | 21% |
| Smokes | 573 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 694 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 741 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $698,236 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonkler | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | Frolle | 51% | 87 |
| #3 | itzmanspelare<3 DROP.SKIN | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | javeinne | 46% | 57 |
| #5 | regeN | 43% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itzmanspelare<3 DROP.SKIN | 14 | 0.0202 |
| #2 | regeN | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Frolle | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | javeinne | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Wingman Jesus | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itzmanspelare<3 DROP.SKIN | 256 | 0.37 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jonkler | 115 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | aggiN | 108 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Frolle | 64 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | regeN | 53 | 0.03 | 1 min |





