








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 657 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Esplay | 19 matches | 1,414 | |
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1202 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1571 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1288 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 985 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $570,933 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingman Jesus | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | regeN | 49% | 115 |
| #3 | javeinne | 47% | 94 |
| #4 | Frolle | 47% | 73 |
| #5 | Ketamin Ken | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | javeinne | 13 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | regeN | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Frolle | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Wingman Jesus | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Ketamin Ken | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regeN | 65 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | Frolle | 57 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | javeinne | 56 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ketamin Ken | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wingman Jesus | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | javeinne | +3.29 | 50 | 39 |
| #2 | regeN | +1.11 | 48 | 35 |
| #3 | Ketamin Ken | -0.16 | 52 | 35 |
| #4 | aggiN | -0.93 | 31 | 46 |
| #5 | Wingman Jesus | -1.03 | 61 | 38 |





