








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 802 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Esplay | 67 matches | 1,501 | |
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 694 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1623 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1568 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2369 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,288 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1446 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | javeinne | 51% | 96 |
| #2 | Ketamin Ken | 51% | 87 |
| #3 | regeN | 49% | 140 |
| #4 | Wingman Jesus | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | aggiN | 47% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ketamin Ken | 51% | 87 |
| #3 | regeN | 49% | 140 |
| #4 | Wingman Jesus | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | aggiN | 47% | 73 |
| #6 | svegon(john ludvig egon sveder) | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regeN | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | javeinne | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Ketamin Ken | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Wingman Jesus | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | aggiN | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aggiN | 148 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ketamin Ken | 144 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | regeN | 105 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Wingman Jesus | 63 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | javeinne | 60 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | javeinne | +3.24 | 54 | 44 |
| #2 | regeN | +0.06 | 45 | 38 |
| #3 | Ketamin Ken | -0.12 | 54 | 32 |
| #4 | svegon(john ludvig egon sveder) | -0.13 | 56 | 27 |
| #5 | Wingman Jesus | -0.23 | 60 | 36 |





