








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 1,782 | |
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 456 | 15% |
| Smokes | 756 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 647 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1192 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,100,859 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frolle | 51% | 96 |
| #2 | regeN | 49% | 122 |
| #3 | aggiN | 47% | 94 |
| #4 | Wingman Jesus | 46% | 114 |
| #5 | Ketamin Ken | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingman Jesus | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Frolle | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | regeN | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | aggiN | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Ketamin Ken | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aggiN | 193 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | regeN | 92 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Wingman Jesus | 76 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ketamin Ken | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Frolle | 57 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | javeinne | +3.35 | 56 | 41 |
| #2 | regeN | -0.29 | 48 | 35 |
| #3 | Ketamin Ken | -0.70 | 53 | 32 |
| #4 | Frolle | -1.20 | 39 | 47 |
| #5 | Wingman Jesus | -1.53 | 62 | 35 |





