








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,385 | |
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3321 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2278 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3268 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2649 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2756 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,225 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slonk | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Whemplar | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Oxtra | 57% | 120 |
| #4 | Vortex | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Ketamin Ken | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itzmanspelare<3 DROP.SKIN | 43 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | mike hunt | 9 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Ketamin Ken | 7 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Whemplar | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | Slonk | 5 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itzmanspelare<3 DROP.SKIN | 1013 | 0.34 | 13 min |
| #2 | Oxtra | 284 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | mike hunt | 67 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Slonk | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vortex | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonkler | +2.15 | 70 | 51 |
| #2 | Oxtra | +1.90 | 63 | 56 |
| #3 | Ketamin Ken | +0.88 | 60 | 26 |
| #4 | Whemplar | +0.77 | 67 | 42 |
| #5 | Vortex | +0.48 | 51 | 25 |





