








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 913 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7502 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6558 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6672 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5395 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $768,142 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 660 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trüdüm | 61% | 82 |
| #2 | Didi | 60% | 52 |
| #3 | Sküfrük | 57% | 159 |
| #4 | Schwobit | 57% | 56 |
| #5 | The_Cr0wLeY_666 | 55% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | bris cumstead | 52% | 52 |
| #8 | Gotsii | 52% | 52 |
| #9 | RYZZIE | 51% | 230 |
| #10 | Acidman on Andy | 51% | 130 |
| #11 | hydrra | 50% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sküfrük | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | bris cumstead | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | hydrra | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Acidman on Andy | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Trüdüm | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hydrra | 322 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Acidman on Andy | 210 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | RYZZIE | 205 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sküfrük | 188 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | The_Cr0wLeY_666 | 158 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bris cumstead | +2.56 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | Sküfrük | +1.59 | 75 | 51 |
| #3 | Schwobit | +1.37 | 69 | 52 |
| #4 | Falco | +0.89 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | Gotsii | +0.52 | 74 | 63 |





