








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 434 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3068 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2604 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3678 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5281 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,828 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bris cumstead | 53% | 114 |
| #2 | Falco | 51% | 230 |
| #3 | Meister Eder | 50% | 86 |
| #4 | Gotsii | 50% | 128 |
| #5 | Trüdüm | 49% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Schwobit | 49% | 88 |
| #7 | Sküfrük | 48% | 257 |
| #8 | party guy | 45% | 51 |
| #9 | hydrra | 45% | 111 |
| #10 | Acidman on Andy | 42% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falco | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | bris cumstead | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Sküfrük | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Acidman on Andy | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Gotsii | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falco | 690 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | Acidman on Andy | 370 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Sküfrük | 284 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | hydrra | 232 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Gotsii | 216 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bris cumstead | +1.71 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | Sküfrük | +1.68 | 73 | 49 |
| #3 | Gotsii | +0.84 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | Schwobit | +0.50 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | RYZZIE | +0.15 | 71 | 52 |





