








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3026 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2008 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2937 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2282 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,745 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sküfrük | 57% | 74 |
| #2 | Trüdüm | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | bris cumstead | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Meister Eder | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Gotsii | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falco | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Sküfrük | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Knebl | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Trüdüm | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | RYZZIE | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falco | 537 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Acidman on Andy | 141 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | RYZZIE | 97 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sküfrük | 72 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Trüdüm | 69 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bris cumstead | +2.23 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | Sküfrük | +1.77 | 73 | 52 |
| #3 | Gotsii | +1.07 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | hydrra | +0.52 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | Falco | +0.40 | 61 | 63 |





