








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2121 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2894 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4791 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3482 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,275,605 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 581 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bris cumstead | 58% | 74 |
| #2 | Falco | 57% | 159 |
| #3 | hydrra | 57% | 74 |
| #4 | Gotsii | 56% | 82 |
| #5 | Trüdüm | 55% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Schwobit | 51% | 70 |
| #8 | Acidman on Andy | 50% | 311 |
| #9 | RYZZIE | 48% | 257 |
| #10 | party guy | 44% | 55 |
| #11 | Knebl | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falco | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Acidman on Andy | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | RYZZIE | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | hydrra | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | party guy | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acidman on Andy | 550 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #2 | Falco | 483 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Trüdüm | 206 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | RYZZIE | 205 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Gotsii | 175 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bris cumstead | +1.65 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | Sküfrük | +1.62 | 74 | 47 |
| #3 | Falco | +1.15 | 65 | 65 |
| #4 | Gotsii | +0.93 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | hydrra | +0.75 | 68 | 70 |





