








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 150 | 9% |
| Smokes | 442 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 765 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 394 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $95,532 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cofee burger | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Nielsen | 52% | 77 |
| #3 | chiken kebab | 51% | 91 |
| #4 | Tzuggi | 43% | 28 |
| #5 | VekeP | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nielsen | 52% | 77 |
| #3 | chiken kebab | 51% | 91 |
| #4 | Tzuggi | 43% | 28 |
| #5 | VekeP | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | cottomoo | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Nielsen | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | cofee burger | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Tzuggi | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | 198 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Nielsen | 172 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tzuggi | 95 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | cofee burger | 55 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | cottomoo | 21 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | +4.29 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Nielsen | +0.15 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | Tzuggi | -0.29 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | cofee burger | -1.01 | 67 | 66 |
| #5 | cottomoo | -1.60 | 57 | 29 |





