








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 190 matches | ||
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12505 | 30% |
| Smokes | 12035 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6799 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 9936 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,976,481 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VekeP | 59% | 71 |
| #2 | Obama McLaren | 57% | 135 |
| #3 | chiken kebab | 52% | 570 |
| #4 | Whirl :D | 51% | 259 |
| #5 | Nielsen | 51% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Timori1 | 45% | 82 |
| #12 | wgg | 44% | 61 |
| #13 | Möksy | 44% | 156 |
| #14 | vorss@ | 42% | 136 |
| #15 | Huhta | 39% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | 45 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Whirl :D | 43 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | cofee burger | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Huhta | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Nielsen | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | 850 | 0.07 | 23 min |
| #2 | Whirl :D | 510 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | The Chosen One | 432 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | M0Mo | 396 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | Nielsen | 374 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whirl :D | +3.62 | 78 | 52 |
| #2 | The Chosen One | +2.63 | 96 | 65 |
| #3 | Obama McLaren | +2.57 | 86 | 52 |
| #4 | chiken kebab | +2.13 | 80 | 58 |
| #5 | Tzuggi | +0.48 | 77 | 60 |





