








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 850 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 277 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2798 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3002 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3541 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2171 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,688,703 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 724 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cofee burger | 54% | 98 |
| #2 | chiken kebab | 52% | 364 |
| #3 | Rikuwiha | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | VekeP | 51% | 94 |
| #5 | Tzuggi | 51% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cofee burger | 54% | 98 |
| #2 | chiken kebab | 52% | 364 |
| #3 | Rikuwiha | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | VekeP | 51% | 94 |
| #5 | Tzuggi | 51% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | cofee burger | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Tzuggi | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | 702 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #2 | Tzuggi | 489 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | cofee burger | 264 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | VekeP | 203 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rikuwiha | 53 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | +2.75 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | Tzuggi | +0.30 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | Nielsen | -0.39 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | cofee burger | -2.03 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | VekeP | -2.46 | 72 | 59 |





