








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3142 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2135 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2719 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1152 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,040,936 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zfunk | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Jimmy D Fried | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | jord | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Kitten | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Swordfish 13 | 5 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jord | 466 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | Zfunk | 389 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jimmy D Fried | 253 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kitten | 194 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | haru | 136 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sachburger | +3.18 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | Ginger | +2.45 | 80 | 53 |
| #3 | |Blade| | +1.66 | 53 | 60 |
| #4 | KohZe | +1.27 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | haru | +0.83 | 46 | 53 |





