








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 419 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2958 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5786 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3755 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3410 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,135,864 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RR <3 | 55% | 103 |
| #2 | PrayForUkraine | 54% | 151 |
| #3 | Nuller | 53% | 76 |
| #4 | [TS] Action Johnson | 51% | 114 |
| #5 | El Diablo del fuego | 51% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pølsen | 47% | 98 |
| #8 | [TS] Scoon | 47% | 43 |
| #9 | [TS] Slikolaj | 46% | 50 |
| #10 | Mads | 46% | 98 |
| #11 | ^2Yamaha ^3Hassan (RIP) | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 37 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | [TS] Action Johnson | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Pølsen | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Mr. Rainhold | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | [TS] Slikolaj | 8 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 652 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #2 | [TS] Action Johnson | 275 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Mr. Rainhold | 241 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | PrayForUkraine | 219 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | RR <3 | 204 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLÆST - Lukas | +1.19 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | El Diablo del fuego | +0.76 | 68 | 75 |
| #3 | Nuller | +0.49 | 53 | 67 |
| #4 | PrayForUkraine | +0.25 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | Pølsen | -0.15 | 35 | 61 |





