








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1068 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1486 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1557 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1283 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,062 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^2Yamaha ^3Hassan (RIP) | 49% | 37 |
| #2 | BLÆST - Lukas | 47% | 98 |
| #3 | [TS] Action Johnson | 47% | 60 |
| #4 | Nuller | 46% | 59 |
| #5 | Mr. Rainhold | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mr. Rainhold | 45% | 33 |
| #6 | El Diablo del fuego | 45% | 120 |
| #7 | Mads | 42% | 45 |
| #8 | [TS] Slikolaj | 37% | 41 |
| #9 | [TS] Scoon | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | [TS] Action Johnson | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Nuller | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | [TS] Slikolaj | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | ^2Yamaha ^3Hassan (RIP) | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 285 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | [TS] Action Johnson | 167 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | BLÆST - Lukas | 166 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nuller | 132 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr. Rainhold | 62 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [TS] Action Johnson | +1.03 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | El Diablo del fuego | +0.80 | 64 | 76 |
| #3 | Nuller | +0.43 | 52 | 67 |
| #4 | BLÆST - Lukas | +0.38 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | Pølsen | -0.05 | 35 | 61 |





