








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1704 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2907 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2803 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2148 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,414,690 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ven :') | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Nuller | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | El Diablo del fuego | 49% | 142 |
| #4 | BLÆST - Lukas | 48% | 153 |
| #5 | PrayForUkraine | 47% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | [TS] Scoon | 40% | 43 |
| #12 | [TS] Slikolaj | 39% | 33 |
| #13 | DeF-MonK | 37% | 65 |
| #14 | mohol | 37% | 65 |
| #15 | ^2Yamaha ^3Hassan (RIP) | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 26 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | BLÆST - Lukas | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | [TS] Action Johnson | 12 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | PrayForUkraine | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | mohol | 7 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 409 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | PrayForUkraine | 398 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | BLÆST - Lukas | 261 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | [TS] Action Johnson | 148 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | mohol | 143 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :i | +3.09 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | BLÆST - Lukas | +1.71 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | El Diablo del fuego | +0.92 | 68 | 76 |
| #4 | Nuller | +0.76 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | Mads | +0.49 | 56 | 69 |





