








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1809 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1920 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2052 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1374 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,703 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RR <3 | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | Nuller | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | PrayForUkraine | 55% | 91 |
| #4 | Mariemus | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | BLÆST - Lukas | 51% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Pølsen | 47% | 60 |
| #10 | Mr. Rainhold | 46% | 56 |
| #11 | [TS] Scoon | 45% | 20 |
| #12 | Mads | 45% | 58 |
| #13 | Pott | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 28 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | [TS] Slikolaj | 15 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Pølsen | 12 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | BLÆST - Lukas | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | PrayForUkraine | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 472 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | BLÆST - Lukas | 194 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | PrayForUkraine | 149 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pølsen | 109 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mads | 106 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLÆST - Lukas | +1.34 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | El Diablo del fuego | +0.90 | 67 | 74 |
| #3 | PrayForUkraine | +0.55 | 66 | 47 |
| #4 | [TS] Action Johnson | +0.48 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | Nuller | +0.16 | 50 | 68 |





