








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 331 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4104 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3946 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5189 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3795 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $731,193 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RR <3 | 67% | 69 |
| #2 | PrayForUkraine | 60% | 130 |
| #3 | Nuller | 55% | 74 |
| #4 | Mariemus | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | BLÆST - Lukas | 51% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Pølsen | 45% | 120 |
| #10 | Mads | 43% | 93 |
| #11 | Pott | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | ^2Yamaha ^3Hassan (RIP) | 43% | 89 |
| #13 | [TS] Scoon | 33% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [TS] Action Johnson | 30 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Pølsen | 18 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | BLÆST - Lukas | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | [TS] Slikolaj | 15 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Mr. Rainhold | 9 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [TS] Action Johnson | 465 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | BLÆST - Lukas | 416 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | Pølsen | 243 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Nuller | 198 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Mr. Rainhold | 196 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLÆST - Lukas | +1.24 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | El Diablo del fuego | +0.80 | 66 | 76 |
| #3 | Nuller | +0.68 | 54 | 67 |
| #4 | PrayForUkraine | +0.54 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | [TS] Action Johnson | +0.15 | 73 | 57 |





