








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1751 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 920 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




115 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6639 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3956 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 7699 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2933 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,706,249 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 737 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shibobo | 76% | 55 |
| #2 | Prophecy | 72% | 53 |
| #3 | psykosage | 72% | 53 |
| #4 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 70% | 98 |
| #5 | lunar | 68% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Good old shmendrick | 67 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | lunar | 24 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Bernz | 22 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | ymcmb | 10 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernz | 1157 | 0.10 | 30 min |
| #2 | lunar | 990 | 0.22 | 28 min |
| #3 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 439 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | Good old shmendrick | 416 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | ymcmb | 329 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psykosage | +4.31 | 81 | 38 |
| #2 | Good old shmendrick | +2.80 | 77 | 49 |
| #3 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | +2.75 | 84 | 71 |
| #4 | Prophecy | +2.37 | 68 | 71 |
| #5 | lunar | +2.13 | 85 | 75 |





